The Art of Networking

"Networking is simply the art of making friends you haven’t met yet." – Unknown

Last week, my dear friend Katherine invited me to join her on a panel discussion at Trinity College, Dublin, where we spoke to students about preparing for the job market. One of the topics was networking—a critical but often misunderstood skill. Katherine described the challenge beautifully: networking is sometimes seen as a transactional relationship where one person gains while the other gives. This perception can make it feel selfish or one-sided.

But when you shift your perspective and view networking as relationship-building, the dynamic changes. It’s no longer about taking—it’s about forming genuine connections that might even grow into lasting friendships. This mindset has shaped my own approach to networking, where I see it as cultivating meaningful relationships built on mutual interest and value.

Networking is incredibly powerful. Think about how often you seek recommendations from friends or colleagues before making decisions—whether it’s choosing a restaurant, a product, or even a job. Hiring managers do the same. Many roles are filled through personal networks before they’re ever posted online. A strong network can be the bridge to your next opportunity.

But how do you network effectively? Here are my top tips:

1. Focus on giving, not taking

Approach networking with a spirit of generosity. Think of it as building a friendship where you’re focused on creating value for the other person, not what you can gain. Frame your conversations around curiosity and understanding. What matters to them? How can you help?

Even if you don’t have a clear “ask” in mind, use the interaction as an opportunity to learn about the other person, uncover shared interests, or identify ways to collaborate. Authentic curiosity often leads to meaningful connections.

2. Network across, not just up

Many people focus on networking with senior leaders, but networking horizontally—within your peer group—can be just as powerful, if not more. My friend Maria once shared a video by Issa Rae on the value of horizontal networking, and it resonated deeply with me.

This principle has been transformative in my career. Every significant role I’ve held came through recommendations from peers:

• My friend and classmate Leah recommended me for my internship at Oracle, a pivotal step in my tech career.

• Another classmate, Faith, invited me to a Microsoft event that turned out to be a recruiting opportunity for my dream role.

• At Microsoft Kenya, my colleague Chumba suggested me for an international position at Microsoft Ireland, fulfilling my long-held goal of gaining global experience.

These connections weren’t about hierarchy—they were about shared experiences and mutual support. While networking “up” can open doors, don’t overlook the value of building relationships with those around you.

3. Keep relationships warm

This fantastic tip comes from my friend Katherine, who shared it during our Trinity College panel. She emphasized the importance of following up and keeping relationships warm. After a networking session, send a thoughtful thank-you message to show your appreciation. Over time, check in periodically without any agenda—just to maintain the connection.

By staying in touch, you build trust and show genuine interest in the relationship. When the time comes to make an ask, it won’t feel opportunistic because you’ve nurtured the connection along the way.

4. Be clear and direct when asking

When you’re ready to make an ask, clarity is essential. Be direct and specific about what you need and, if possible, explain how it might also benefit them. This shows confidence and intentionality.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m looking for advice,” say, “I’m interested in transitioning to a product management role and would love your perspective on the skills I should develop.”

People are often happy to help when they understand exactly how they can assist. Clear communication strengthens the relationship and demonstrates respect for their time.

5. Leverage online platforms

In today’s digital world, networking isn’t confined to in-person interactions. Platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, and even specialized communities (such as industry forums or Slack groups) offer incredible opportunities to connect with like-minded professionals.

When reaching out online:

• Personalize your message. Mention why you’re connecting, referencing a shared interest, mutual connection, or something specific they’ve done that inspired you.

• Be active in discussions. Comment thoughtfully on posts or articles shared by your network. This showcases your expertise and builds visibility.

• Share your journey. Regularly post updates about your career, learnings, or projects. This invites people to engage with you and strengthens your professional presence.

Online networking is especially valuable when reaching people across geographies or industries. It’s a way to expand your network far beyond your immediate circle.

Final thoughts

Networking is about creating genuine connections, not transactional exchanges. By focusing on giving, nurturing relationships, and maintaining clarity in your interactions, you’ll build a network that supports your growth—and theirs—over time.